white hair, wrinkles, and wisdom

I have finally met my teacher. She isn't who I expected -well in, fact I didn't even know that I was looking for a teacher. I see her only a few times a week, unfortunately, due to my busy schedule. We don't speak much and, when we do, we usually have the same conversation that lasts for about forty-five seconds. She has no idea who I am. I have to sit on her right side so I can yell into her good ear, and she has no idea who I am. Or that she is my teacher. Or who I am. 

I have started telling the other captives of the home that she is my grandma, and they smile and reckon that everyone needs a grand-daughter. They have no idea how badly some girls need a grandma. 

Florence Eleanor Strom is ninety-six years old. I promised her daughter that I would go and visit her as much as I could while she is on holidays in Ireland. Florence is hardly mobile, and only has a little bit of hearing left in her right ear. I said that I would and visit her, and I wanted to mean it, but I have never liked spending time around old people. Especially ones I don't know. Especially ones that I don't know all corralled together into one home, being held captive by their grand children's generation- but not cared for by their own grand children. But I wanted to keep my word so I decided that I would go and spend a couple of minutes with her whenever I had the chance; I wanted to be responsible, the virtue of the week drove me to do it! 

The first time I went, I found her in the dining room. She was at a table with another gentleman who looks like he belongs in NewFoundland and has a penchant for whistling repetitive tunes. They were ignoring each other. We went back to her room and had a nice visit. I felt really awkward for a lot of the time, but I realized near the end that after living for almost a century awkward doesn't exist anymore. Every visit now seems to follow the pattern of me finding her in the dining room and then we will go back to her room and sit on the couch. We will have some disjointed conversation and then I will say some prayers, she will say they are nice, and then I'll kiss her on the cheek. Then I ask her what her plans for the week are and she will say not much and I will ask her pencil me in. Then I will spend the time until I see her again looking forward our next visit. 

I don't know if it is all old people, or Florence in particular, who have the ability, without knowing, to teach some of life's greatest lessons. She has taught me what compassion in action really is. She has enabled my compassion to come to fruition. For the half an hour a day I can spend with Florence I am compassionate without distraction. It is impossible to enter a seniors home and not be overwhelmed with complete acceptance for the limitations on our physical existence. Florence may not be living a glamorous life but she can still crack a smile when telling me about her nickname (Flopsie) or express great shock and fascination and interest in my recent visit to India. Florence lives with a serenity of acceptance. 

Abdu'l-Baha said 

Let each one of God's loved ones centre his attention on this: to be the Lord's mercy to man; to be the Lord's grace. Let him do some good to every person whose path he crosseth and be of some benefit to him... In this way the light of divine guidance will shine forth, and the blessings of God will cradle all mankind...

In this way I have also learned about grace. And of course this week responsibility. The best thing about practicing and being so focused on being responsible is that I find that I am driven to action. If I am trying to be more responsible, it isn't a conscience thing for me, it is an action thing. Ever since I was young I have had a reasonably responsible conscience, but it is acting on everything that I know is right or I know that I should do that I need to get better at. I am solely responsible for the choices that I make in my life so I best make the right ones. That is something I have done a lot better this week than I usually do I think. 

The virtue this week is going to be respect *cue Aretha Franklin* and I am fully re-dedicated to my journey through the virtues because I know that I have Florence by my side and I know there is nothing she can't teach me.