I want to write more frequently, not for you, the readers', sake, but rather for my own. I think better when I write.
Something that has been such an inspiration in my life recently is the junior youth group I have recently started 'animating'. On average there are six junior youth (aka juyu) who attend, and they are from an assortment of backgrounds and families, but they are all girls and they range from sixth to eighth grade. We get together once a week after school and are slowly working our way through a work book called 'Breezes of Confirmation' while doing yoga, arts, service projects, and of course having deep and meaningful conversations. Every week the girls leave me with so many things to think about and reflect upon in my own self, as well of course as society as a whole.
In last weeks lesson the final activity was to write a paragraph about what you wanted to be when you grew up and why. The girls were fandastik! We had a human rights lawyer, astronaut, astronomer, teacher, singers, and actresses. And then there was me. It struck me that it was so simple for these girls to write down their dreams and future careers and be so sure about them, while I sat with my work book in front of me thoroughly stumped and puzzled and chewing on the back of my pencil. What happens between being eleven and twenty-two. How do you become so much less sure of everything in your life the older you get? Does this happen to everyone or is it just me?
I am dead certain about many things that I want to do; I want to travel, I want to be of service to humanity, and I want to raise a family. So do I just pick a career that I am not passion about but would be good at just to do something? So much emphasis is put on loving what you do and therefore having a happy life, but I think I could love anything I do, so that does not narrow it down. I can be passionate and happy doing whatever needs to be done, so how do I make a choice?
So basically what I am trying to say is I don't know. I know that I am flying out of the country on January fourth, and I think that I will apply to some universities before I leave so that I can always come back to one in the fall. Or not.
Also, back to the juyu girls... Every single one of them is great. They are so full of idea's and energy and really bright girls who look forward to getting together every week and spending time with each other. Many times when we are done everything we have planned for the afternoon we will all just sit downstairs together and talk and talk and talk and talk. As bright and caring as each of them is, I have noticed a tendency towards 'white lies' come up almost every week in one form or another. They are really not harmful things at all, and by 'white lies' I mean spotless white, white to the extent that they will openly talk about it to me or even the parents because that is how 'acceptable' these lies are. Maybe it is not a big deal and I should just let it pass, but it feels like something that should be addressed. Perhaps I am just too hard lined and don't really accept any bending of the truth at all, but I don't really know. I don't want to make the girls feel bad either, because they are not meaning any harm, and I don't think that anyone in their lives has ever broached this behavior as unacceptable, so I don't want to dwell on it or point any of them out specifically... What do I do?
It is now very late and I have not really written anything very interesting or cohesive, but bear with me if you like and maybe it will get better!
No comments:
Post a Comment